Cleanliness ....

WARNING! NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED!


Or have toilet issues ....




I will tell you first off that I do not have a problem, ok! But I do have certain standards as far as cleanliness goes, and I have had this conversation in full blown honesty one day at my friend jackies bar in Turkey one afternoon.

It started because, in jackies bar, as it is soo small that there is only one toilet, yes know, I hated this, but what can you do, I loved the bar.
Anyhow, I was sitting there with friends one afternoon, and I had just come back from the toilet, now ‘shorty’ asked me why I am always soo long in there, so this is where I went into my ‘overthetop’ mode with what I said heheh and here is it practically word for word, cos I had them in stitches …..

The reason is, cos as there is only one toilet, and I have issues with that, but never mind, cos i never want to share a public toilet with a man, the reason being that, mens toilets smell!, (laughter and denials from the men here) yes they do! No getting away from it, also after a few drinks they tend to miss the place they are supposed to be aiming for (more laughing denials from certain men) yes they do! So you end up with a smelly disgusting toilet, and because I hate public toilets anyway, I have a ritual that I have to do to make sure I do not touch anything in there.
Go to the toilet door close behind me and slide lock over with little finger, *cough* prepare myself to do what I need to and then ‘hover’ over the pan …… stop it I know what your thinking and doing now! Anyhow finish what I am doing, and pull myself together, grab some toilet paper so I can flush without touching the handle.
grab some paper hand towel turn on tap with it, throw towel away proceed to wash hands, grab some more paper hand towel, dry hands and turn off tap with it, with towel still in hand slide back the bolt on the door, turn handle with towel still in hand, throw paper towel into the bin, exit toilet.

Now you tell me what is wrong with that? Now you can imagine everyone sitting with me thinks I am nuts and they are killing themselves as they did not realise I was soo ‘ocd’, so now i have to explain why I do the things I do, goes something like this …..

Hover over toilet cos I do not know when it was last bleached etc, I do this in any public toilet, and again men have been using the toilet , eewww I use toilet paper to flush with cos other people have obviously flushed the loo before they have washed there hands, same with taps that’s why I hold paper tissue while turning on and off, the door bolt and handle? Because some people do not wash there hands after going, and that’s a fact, so I have to use the paper towels so I don’t dirty my hands again making all what I did before a waste of time.

Well, now they are all agreeing with me, cos it is fact what I just said, and I also said, since there was a lot of men sitting at the table, hand up those who went and did not wash there hands while in there, they all put there hands up but I can guarantee you, I named two that did not, as they were too quick in and out lol

Anyone think I am over the top with cleanliness? I do not think so, I think its common sense to do what I do, and anyone who says otherwise I will think they do not wash their hands either hehehe and I will out you!

Whats my theory? It is this, you can never be too clean, I know people say that a few germs never killed anyone … WHAAT? Yes they do!

lol if you are in the category of slobbyness, do not invite me round to your house ok? Cos i know someone and you seriously do not want to have anything to eat there, if you go into the kitchen you would die of shock and horror, and that is just downright lazy.

If I could wait when I was out to go to the ‘WC’ until I got home I would, that’s how bad I am about public toilets.


Laters Tatty xx





*rolleye* generated

Brain transplant?

Yes! I think I need one!


Noooo, not to get rid of mine, to put MY brain, into, another fitter body, not that there is anything wrong with mine on the outside, ohhh tsk I am digging myself into a hole here … look just take it from me, I need to have my brain put into another body.

I was talking to a friend about this not long ago, she was saying that it sounded like a good idea, an excellent idea in fact, well, at first it seemed a good idea! Cos as we carried on talking about it, the more problems we came across.

Where I have to say there is nothing wrong with my brain, well I might forget some things sometimes, usually I find it is the trivial stooped things I forget, very rarely something important. so do you think we forget things, because there is already a lot crammed in there? I admit I have a massive amount of useless information crammed in my brain, with the odd bit of intelligence thrown in *whistles* …. So if my brain is crammed already with all this stuff no wonder I am going to forget some things, I do actually tell people this if I forget something, it goes something like this ….

Other person ~ “Tatty, it was my birthday last week, not today!”

Me ~ “tsk, oh FGS, why do I forget these things all the time, heheh you know what it is, I have soo much stuffed into my brain, that I have to shift some stuff out, and I am sorry that it was your birthday, that it chose to kick out and think it was trivial!” lol

Usually, I get some sort of reaction from that statement, that results in me being forgiven, after all the person is usually laughing by now.

Back to the transplant, so what would we need if we was looking for a new body to put our brain in? see now this is hard, cos on the outside I have been happy with it, so it would be pretty difficult, I am not saying I am the most beautiful person walking, but I have been told I am not bad, so what do I head for hahahah sorry for the pun, I mean what do I aim for? Another thing is my hair, always been very long and naturally blonde, not many people can say that can they, now you are thinking I am vain, but I am not … really! I am far from it.

Now i am thinking, would my brain actually be happier in another body, if I am not completely happy with it? And obviously I do need to be happy about the situation, well the answer would have to be no, so really I need a double of me, don’t I?
Now we are wandering into the world of cloning, and would that be possible for me to be cloned and my actual brain be put into that cloned body? Well maybe eventually I could be cloned, but the brain part? I don’t think so, so how do I resolve this problem? I don’t know, cos unless they do cloning, brain transplants etc, on the NHS I would not be able to have it, cos I am skint lol well not funny cos I am still stuck with my brain where it is now!

So do you see the dilemma of having to get a new body to put your brain in? and nooo, I don’t want to leave my brain behind, it has kept me amused for many a long hour, and others come to think of it, so I really do need it. I do have stuff in there that will maybe come in handy one day, you never know do you? I seem to have an answer for everything, or an easier solution to get something done. So you see I really do need my brain.

But is there a theory to all this dilemma? Well there should be, but for the life of me I cannot remember what it was!

You would think that something as important as this I would at least remember something that would actually benefit myself, wouldn’t you?

Nooo am kidding the theory of this is, I need a very rich billionair, who would pay for this for me, after all I can make them laugh, that’s got to be on the plus side, amusing people comes easy to me, so am I worth it? Yes I do think so!! So come on … offers please!!

Errrm question? Is it possible to take certain parts of your brain? And leave the forgetful bits behind? Please let me know!


Laters Tatty xx





*rolleye* generated.